I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
