last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
