matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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