no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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