I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
