there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
