hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
