The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
