doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
