Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
