We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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