just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
