What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
