I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
