How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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