Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
