she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
