i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
