I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just invented taco cereal.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
