eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
