i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
