Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
