Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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