your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
