One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
