i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
