Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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