I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
