I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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