she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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