Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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