So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
