About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
