how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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