no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
