In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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