used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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