He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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