nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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