I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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