great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
