we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
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