I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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