I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
