Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
