Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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