I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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