i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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