Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There's always time for handjobs
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
