I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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