So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We need to get me chipped asap
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
