The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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