guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
This house was built for laser tag.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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